While Playing Catch...
It was a bright sunny day; my girlfriend and I were spending much time indoors. I thought it a good idea to get outside and do something physical. Admittedly, except for dancing (I really love ballroom and swing... I love the concentrated rhythmic excercise... I've rarely come across a dance lesson I didn't like), going outside is something I need to talk myself into most of the time. Of course once I'm engaged in some activity I usually enjoy it - it just takes some motivation for me to get there.
She brought along a frisbee and a tennis ball to the park we walked to. I was happy about the frisbee- I am pretty good with it, and was looking forward to practicing a different throw to get better and have more versatility.
It was the tennis ball I was wishing she left behind.
I figured if we played catching the frisbee long enough she'd be happy with that and forget about the ball. I don't like playing catch with balls- not baseballs, tennis balls, softballs - anything small like that. Too many memories come rushing into my head about being picked last on teams in high school, or how many times I dropped one during a game to the dismay of fellow teammates.
We played frisbee and I was happy to just sit down on the grass an enjoy the sunshine. Just when I thought I was in the clear she stood up and picked up the ball.
I explained to her my lack of skill with catching but she insisted.
At first I was busy proving myself right. I found myself dropping throw after throw, feeling self concious and inept, telling myself to catch it and to stop being concerned it was going to hit me.
It suddenly dawned on me that I have conversations with people on a regular basis about shifting what it is they are paying attention to and very good at shifting people's experience so that it becomes external and very "now" oriented.
Why couldn't I do this in the physical realm with a tennis ball?
That's when the whole thing changed.
I stopped focusing on me catching the ball, and began focusing on my girlfriend- on the ball being back in her hand.
I immedietly noticed several things shifted in my experience:
1. My internal "running commentary" stopped - it was quiet in my head.
2. The speed of the ball soming at me slowed down.
3. I was aware of the ball she was throwing, not the ball that she threw before, nor the one she might throw next.
I was catching the ball most of time now instead of the inverse.
At the end of this experiment, I said "let's throw the ball untill we complete 3 times back and forth successfully without dropping it."
It was during the 9th time in a row she threw it to me without dropping that I dropped it becuase I began to think about what the 10th throw would be like.
She brought along a frisbee and a tennis ball to the park we walked to. I was happy about the frisbee- I am pretty good with it, and was looking forward to practicing a different throw to get better and have more versatility.
It was the tennis ball I was wishing she left behind.
I figured if we played catching the frisbee long enough she'd be happy with that and forget about the ball. I don't like playing catch with balls- not baseballs, tennis balls, softballs - anything small like that. Too many memories come rushing into my head about being picked last on teams in high school, or how many times I dropped one during a game to the dismay of fellow teammates.
We played frisbee and I was happy to just sit down on the grass an enjoy the sunshine. Just when I thought I was in the clear she stood up and picked up the ball.
I explained to her my lack of skill with catching but she insisted.
At first I was busy proving myself right. I found myself dropping throw after throw, feeling self concious and inept, telling myself to catch it and to stop being concerned it was going to hit me.
It suddenly dawned on me that I have conversations with people on a regular basis about shifting what it is they are paying attention to and very good at shifting people's experience so that it becomes external and very "now" oriented.
Why couldn't I do this in the physical realm with a tennis ball?
That's when the whole thing changed.
I stopped focusing on me catching the ball, and began focusing on my girlfriend- on the ball being back in her hand.
I immedietly noticed several things shifted in my experience:
1. My internal "running commentary" stopped - it was quiet in my head.
2. The speed of the ball soming at me slowed down.
3. I was aware of the ball she was throwing, not the ball that she threw before, nor the one she might throw next.
I was catching the ball most of time now instead of the inverse.
At the end of this experiment, I said "let's throw the ball untill we complete 3 times back and forth successfully without dropping it."
It was during the 9th time in a row she threw it to me without dropping that I dropped it becuase I began to think about what the 10th throw would be like.
SYNDICATE THIS BLOG: http://whoareyoubeing.blogspot.com/atom.xml
posted by Mike @ 3:22 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home